"ALF"

Naaaaa, that's stupid... I'll do anyway.

Hey, you crawl under people's houses, you hear things.

I wanna be alone. Come on Brian, keep me company!

Did you know that if you eat fast you can eat more?

Trust me on this one, I've been wrong so many times before.

(I was) looking for tomato paste, I broke a tomato.

ALF: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it.

ALF: [ALF almost kills Willie with the TV] Willie, it was an accident!
Willie: An accident? An accident? You almost killed me, and you say it was an accident?
ALF: Alright, let's call it a mistake!

I still think I should have brought her something, you know? Some candy, some flowers...a Rambo doll...

Quick, quick, hang up, hang up, dial 9-1-1, nine uno uno!

[ALF is trying to be a professional shrink and he's annoying Kate and Willie]
ALF: Speaking of aggravation, we've got to do something about Brian.
Kate: What's wrong with Brian?
ALF: He's been experiencing some negative stroking from Kate lately.
Kate: [in a sudden burst of anger] All right. That's it.
Willie: Calm down.
ALF: Stop ventilating.
Kate: I am not ventilating. I am talking.
[to Willie]
Kate: And I resent the implication that I'm having a negative effect on my son's outlook. Oh I give up. I give up.
ALF: You're letting out your emotions. Good. Now we can make some real progress.
Willie: And you are spouting out a lot of psychological clichés you don't even understand.
ALF: Why so hostile, Willie? I'm okay. You're okay.
Willie: This must stop.
ALF: That's right. A good scream. Let it fly.
Willie: You cannot keep aggravating people like this.
ALF: Why do you hate your mother?

[ALF has just squirted Willie with a squirting flower]
Willie: You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny.

ALF: Back home on Melmac, I had a cousin, Pretty Boy Shumway. He was so mean, if he didn't like your looks,
[points at Willy, imitating machine gun sound]
ALF: ak-ak-ak-ak-ak.
Willie: You mean he'd shoot you if he didn't like how you looked?
ALF: No. He'd just point at you and go, "Ak-ak-ak-ak-ak."

Jake Ochmonek: Laura's very curious about her secret admirer, so I was thinking like actually saying something to her.
ALF: Danger, Will Robinson.

ALF: Trust me, I'll have her running trough the streets screaming your name. If the cops don't pick her up, she'll be yours.

[Kate refuses ALF to baby-sit Eric]
ALF: But why, why?
Kate: Why? Cause you're irresponsible. You trashed the living room, blew up the kitchen, wallpapered the shower...
ALF: It was a rhetorical question.

ALF: I'm a cursed Melmacian, I belong to the room of the goshdarned.
Kate: Goshdarned?
ALF: Ours was a polite society.

ALF: I hate musicals. Out of the blue people burst into songs.
Willie: Hence the term "musical."
ALF: Yeah, but wouldn't it get on your nerves if all of a sudden I started singing : "Hey, Kate, ain't it great? Hey, Willie, you look silly. Hey!"
Willie: It's getting on my nerves.
ALF: So what musical are you going to go see today?
Willie: "Cats."
ALF: Take me, please! Then afterwards, we can go backstage and eat the actors!

Dorothy: You don't have to make rude noises.
ALF: That's okay. I don't mind.

ALF: I'm on a new diet. I can eat as much of whatever I want.
Lynn: And you lose weight that way?
ALF: You do?