Dog
(page 2)
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
I'm one of those people who has always struggled with emotions and revealing them. When my dog Orson died, I did this very male thing of 'It's just a dog and I'll just move on.' I was very slow to grasp the emotion. But Orson is the reason I started writing about dogs.
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No'. And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
My little dog — a heartbeat at my feet.
There's a saying. If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it and keep it around.
Owners who buy aggressive dogs for security may be kidding themselves: The chances that the victim of a fatal dog attack will be a burglar or human attacker are 1-in-177. The odds that the victim will be a child are 7-in-10.
I love spending time with my dog, my niece and my family. I'm very family-oriented.
My main characters are the most sunny, happy, optimistic, loving creatures on the face of the Earth. I couldn't be happier that's where I start. I can put as many flawed people in the dog's world as I like, but the dog doesn't care. Dog doesn't judge. Dog doesn't dislike. Dog loves. That's not so bad.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this — no dog exchanges bones with another.
Does not the gratitude of the dog put to shame any man who is ungrateful to his benefactors?
The highest compliment that you can pay me is to say that I work hard every day, that I never dog it.
The Perfect Dog is an enticing fantasy pooch. It's the dog that instantly learns to pee outdoors, never menaces or frightens children, plays gently with other dogs, won't jump on the UPS guy, never rolls in gross things, eats only the appropriate food at the right time, and never chews anything not meant for him. This dog does not exist.
My beloved dog defied treatment from the best and most expensive veterinarians, holistic practitioners, trainers, and animal communicators. He was simply beyond my ability to repair or control.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
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