Dog
(page 3)
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
I'm one of those people who has always struggled with emotions and revealing them. When my dog Orson died, I did this very male thing of 'It's just a dog and I'll just move on.' I was very slow to grasp the emotion. But Orson is the reason I started writing about dogs.
I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No'. And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar.
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this — no dog exchanges bones with another.
My beloved dog defied treatment from the best and most expensive veterinarians, holistic practitioners, trainers, and animal communicators. He was simply beyond my ability to repair or control.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
We can stop the cycle of animal homelessness and save lives by opening our hearts and homes to a loving cat or dog from an animal shelter instead of buying animals from breeders or pet shops.
If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.
It is rewarding beyond words to rescue a dog from the shelter and have that dog become part of your family.
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