Quotes from movies
(page 7)
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
- Surely you can't be serious?!
- I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
ALF: How about a hug for the ol' ALFer.
ALF: [slowly enters kitchen] The Great Orange hunter stalks his prey.
[opens fridge]
ALF: Ah, he sees it. The illusive loin of Pork the most prized catch in the refridgidary jungle. What's this?
[picks a note off the food and reads it]
ALF: "ALF don't eat this" Why would I eat this?
[throws away the note]
ALF: Ever so deftly the great orange hunter maneuvers his weapon. He strikes.
[as he does this an earthquake starts]
ALF: Whoa. Has the hunter angered the gods? Okay, I won't eat pork.
Brian: Your name's really Gordon?
ALF: Yeah, Gordon.
Brian: That's funny.
ALF: It was my mother's maiden name, all right?
Willie: How long are you gonna keep this up?
ALF: Well, in the words of Porky Pig "tha-tha-tha-tha-That's all folks." Speaking of Porky, do I smell bacon?
Willie: No.
ALF: Well, I'd like to.
[ALF is determined to prove the man next door is Elvis Presley]
ALF: I can be logical if I have to. The man's name is Aaron King. Elvis' middle name was Aaron and he was king of Rock 'n' Roll.
Willie: I'm not convinced.
ALF: OK. How about this. Hank Aaron is baseball's home run king and Elvis loved baseball.
Willie: ALF, you are grasping at straws.
ALF: [shouts] OK. Listen to this. Aaron Burr wanted to be King of America and he was from the South, just like Elvis.
Willie: You can't vote, ALF , you're not a citizen.
ALF: I'll apply for a green card.
Willie: That's only if you want a job.
ALF: Pass.
[pause]
ALF: I know, I'll marry Lynn. Become a citizen, vote, then drop her of like a hot potato.
Willie: ALF...
ALF: Sure it will be hard on her first. She'll cry, drink a little too much. Join with a bongo player named Waquine.
Willie: ALF.
ALF: You'd like Waquine, he doesn't like beets.
Willie: Neither you or Waquine may marry my daughter and you may not vote.
ALF: Fine. I have not voice in government, Waquine will get deported, and they'll make him eat beets.
Willie: How many cups of coffee have you had?
ALF: Forty. Why?
Willie: If you had eaten that dish towel, I would have been very angry.
[pause]
Willie: That's a sentence I never thought I would hear myself say.
ALF: A ceremony doesn't have to be long to be effective. A Melmacian wedding contains a priest saying "You're hitched, go for it, babe."
Jake Ochmonek: Why do we have to wear meat at this ceremony anyway?
ALF: 'Cause the high priest on Melmac was also the butcher.
ALF: Melmac was the name of my planet. It's also what it was made out of.
Willie: Isn't there anybody else you could bother?
ALF: We voted. You were the people's choice.
[ALF and Lynn are preparing a surprise dinner for Kate and Willie]
ALF: I just need to finish spit-shining these plates here.
Lynn: [grabbing the plates] That won't be necessary.
ALF: Fine, let them eat off dirty dishes.
[about ALF's "car"]
Lynn: What's that thing?
ALF: It's not a thing. It's an ALF Romeo.
ALF: [ALF blows up the kitchen] I guess we'll have to order in.
Fine, don't believe me! They didn't believe the boy who cried wolf!
[Willie is working on his car but bumps his head on the hood when ALF honks the horn]
ALF: Horn works!
Willie[sarcastic]: Thank you.
ALF: Why don't we just kill this thing for the insurance money? We'll make it look like an accident!
ALF: If Lynn starts humming the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," I'm pulling the plug on this production!
Grease fire, grease fire!
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