Quotes from movies
(page 7)
Love means never having to say you're sorry.
Elementary, my dear Watson.
- Surely you can't be serious?!
- I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
ALF: [slowly enters kitchen] The Great Orange hunter stalks his prey.
[opens fridge]
ALF: Ah, he sees it. The illusive loin of Pork the most prized catch in the refridgidary jungle. What's this?
[picks a note off the food and reads it]
ALF: "ALF don't eat this" Why would I eat this?
[throws away the note]
ALF: Ever so deftly the great orange hunter maneuvers his weapon. He strikes.
[as he does this an earthquake starts]
ALF: Whoa. Has the hunter angered the gods? Okay, I won't eat pork.
Brian: Do you get Sesame Street where you live?
ALF: No, and frankly I don't get it here either.
Willie: Go back to the tent.
ALF: It's too dangerous out there. I had to kill a fifty-foot snake with my pocketknife.
Willie: There are no fifty-foot water snakes in the backyard.
ALF: I'm telling ya, it was bright green and it spit water. Ths Ths
[spitting water sound]
ALF: ...
Willie: That was my new garden hose.
ALF: Oh, no wonder it was sucking on the spigot.
Willie: How long are you gonna keep this up?
ALF: Well, in the words of Porky Pig "tha-tha-tha-tha-That's all folks." Speaking of Porky, do I smell bacon?
Willie: No.
ALF: Well, I'd like to.
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
[ALF has to stay in the garage because Kate's mother is visiting]
ALF: Kate, there's no TV in here.
Kate: We'll let you use the portable TV.
ALF: The black and white one with the 1 inch screen? Good. I'll tape it to my eye.
Willie: If you had eaten that dish towel, I would have been very angry.
[pause]
Willie: That's a sentence I never thought I would hear myself say.
[the Tanners help ALF becoming a minister. They are asking him questions from Melmac's holy book]
Brian: What's is the kindest thing that you can do for someone else?
ALF: Burp down wind.
Willie: He's right. It says, "He who burps down wind can party with me any time."
ALF: I don't want to be an orphan. I saw "Annie." Orphans have to eat gruel and tap dance with mops.
Jake Ochmonek: What are you, anyway?
ALF: I'm an alien, from the planet Melmac. I have powers you can only dream of.
Jake Ochmonek: Like what?
ALF: Uhhhm... I can watch 10 hours of TV, without ever getting up to go to the bathroom.
Willie: Isn't there anybody else you could bother?
ALF: We voted. You were the people's choice.
[ALF and Lynn are preparing a surprise dinner for Kate and Willie]
ALF: I just need to finish spit-shining these plates here.
Lynn: [grabbing the plates] That won't be necessary.
ALF: Fine, let them eat off dirty dishes.
ALF: Like my old skeelball coach used to say: "Find something you're not good at, and then don't do it."
ALF: [ALF blows up the kitchen] I guess we'll have to order in.
ALF: How can I read with all this quiet?
Fine, don't believe me! They didn't believe the boy who cried wolf!
There's hair in this tuna fish... I like it!
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