"ALF"
(page 7)

ALF: Hey, Willie. Let's throw a cat on the barbie.

[Alf and Brian come out with two cans of something in their hand]
Kate: I said no soda pop.
Brian: It's not soda pop, it's beer.
ALF: [burps] You're about out of Coors!
Kate: What!? (grunts) Give those to me!
ALF: Hey, hey, careful his is still full!

ALF: Are you gonna throw a hissy fit every time I squander a couple thousand dollars?

Lynn: Oh, Alf. What are we gonna do with you?
ALF: I guess you'll have to love me as long as it lasts.
Lynn: We will.

Did you say I should get hair in the peanut butter, or I shouldn't?

Well, we left last Saturday and the first thing that happened was we pulled out of the driveway and got a flat tire... Took Raquel a half hour to fix it.

ALF: A minute and a half, Luckmiester, then I'll be down on you like a buzzard on a gut wagon.

ALF: Putting humans in charge of the earth, is the cosmic equivalence of letting Eddie Murphy direct.

Willie: When the babysitter is here, ALF, you are going to have to be in the attic.
ALF: Oh, great, prison. Why don't you just stick me in a sweatbox?
Willie: Were all making adjustments here, ALF. Your not gonna be there all that much...
ALF: Attica. Attica. Attica.

ALF: Once we add sound, color and stick Eddie Murphy in there somewhere, it'll be a smash.

Willie: I never meant to bring Jimbo over.
ALF: You brought an elephant home to dinner?
Willie: I said Jimbo, not Jumbo.

ALF: Carl Jung was a big weenyhead.

Kate: Where's Lizard taking you?
Lynn: To a science fiction movie. Something about this guy being shrunk and then injected into someone else.
ALF: That's not science fiction. A friend of mine did that once. He took a wrong turn and got stuck in a guy's nose.

Willie: Well, ALF, while we're gone, I trust you won't be getting into any mischief.
ALF: You do?
Willie: Not really, but we gotta go.

[ALF enters the Tanner's bedroom]
ALF: Are you decent?
Willie: Does it matter?
ALF: Not to me.

[the Tanners are preparing for a garage sale]
ALF: How about this? A genuine, Melmacian, survival knife.
Brian: There's no blade.
ALF: Well, life on Melmac wasn't that tough.

Willie: I'm trying to make this vacation more fun. You might do it yourself instead of complaining all the time.

ALF: Who said I'm gonna walk? I'm gonna drive my new Mercedes. What do you say? Burgundy with the tan interior.

Oreos!?! My kinda people!

Jake Ochmonek: Can't I stay with the Tanners? I'm allergic to Kitch.
Lynn: Go, enjoy. Drink the water. Adios!