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"ALF"
(page 8)

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ALF: A minute and a half, Luckmiester, then I'll be down on you like a buzzard on a gut wagon.

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ALF: Once we add sound, color and stick Eddie Murphy in there somewhere, it'll be a smash.

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ALF: Carl Jung was a big weenyhead.

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Kate: Where's Lizard taking you?
Lynn: To a science fiction movie. Something about this guy being shrunk and then injected into someone else.
ALF: That's not science fiction. A friend of mine did that once. He took a wrong turn and got stuck in a guy's nose.

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[the Tanners are preparing for a garage sale]
ALF: How about this? A genuine, Melmacian, survival knife.
Brian: There's no blade.
ALF: Well, life on Melmac wasn't that tough.

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Willie: I'm trying to make this vacation more fun. You might do it yourself instead of complaining all the time.

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Jake Ochmonek: Can't I stay with the Tanners? I'm allergic to Kitch.
Lynn: Go, enjoy. Drink the water. Adios!

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Settled, lets hit the bricks with this scum! Do we get to carry clubs?

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Why would he even TRY making banana coffee?

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