Quotes from movies
(page 3)
ALF: Back home on Melmac, I had a cousin, Pretty Boy Shumway. He was so mean, if he didn't like your looks,
[points at Willy, imitating machine gun sound]
ALF: ak-ak-ak-ak-ak.
Willie: You mean he'd shoot you if he didn't like how you looked?
ALF: No. He'd just point at you and go, "Ak-ak-ak-ak-ak."
Dorothy: You don't have to make rude noises.
ALF: That's okay. I don't mind.
[on a camping trip]
Willie: One more word out of you, and you're not eating with us.
ALF: Right. Let the alien starve.
Willie: I think the alien could skip a meal. It might be a new experience for you!
[pause]
Willie: How would you like your hamburger?
ALF: Medium rare. Hold the lightning.
Willie: How would you like to be 50% hair?
ALF: You know, you're a different person when you're on vacation.
Willie: I'm just trying to make this vacation fun.
ALF: How, by drowning us?
Willie: By trying to keep a positive attitude! You might do that yourself... INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ALL THE TIME!
Kate: [annoyed] Guys, please.
ALF: Well, not everyone enjoys spending their vacation in a rainforest!
Willie: We're in this rainforest because of you!
ALF: I vote we go home.
Willie: You're not voting in this.
ALF: Call the newspapers! Democracy is dead!
Operator, this is an emergency... what's the number for 911?
Great, a new baby! We'll raise him as our own.
Houston, we have a problem.
Elementary, my dear Watson.
Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make.
Willie: Go back to the tent.
ALF: It's too dangerous out there. I had to kill a fifty-foot snake with my pocketknife.
Willie: There are no fifty-foot water snakes in the backyard.
ALF: I'm telling ya, it was bright green and it spit water. Ths Ths
[spitting water sound]
ALF: ...
Willie: That was my new garden hose.
ALF: Oh, no wonder it was sucking on the spigot.
[the cat Lucky has died and the Tanners are having a funeral for him]
ALF: I'm reminded of a prayer he used to recite every night before going to bed, "And if I die before I wake, chicken-fry me like a steak."
[at the cat Lucky's funeral]
ALF: Where I'm from, this is ludicrous. It's like having a funeral for a hamburger.
ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.
[ALF has to stay in the garage because Kate's mother is visiting]
ALF: Kate, there's no TV in here.
Kate: We'll let you use the portable TV.
ALF: The black and white one with the 1 inch screen? Good. I'll tape it to my eye.
ALF: And have you thought about what happens to me, when that "human babysitter" rummages trough my fridge?
Kate: What do you mean your fridge?
ALF: Okay its your fridge, but the fuzz in the meat door is mine.
ALF: Mind if I showed you a trick?
Kate: The last time you showed me a trick, it took three weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.
ALF: I told you not to lean in.
ALF: I don't want to be an orphan. I saw "Annie." Orphans have to eat gruel and tap dance with mops.
Willie: This is a jigsaw puzzle.
ALF: It's broken.
Willie: That's the object, ALF. You're supposed to put it together.
ALF: Why? I didn't break it.
ALF: Justice will not rest.
Kate: What if I gave justice a cookie?
ALF: Justice will think about it.
Kate: ALF, you can use the portable TV in the bedroom.
ALF: But it's too small. It makes everyone look like Danny DeVito.
ALF: Like my old skeelball coach used to say: "Find something you're not good at, and then don't do it."
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