Funny quotes
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Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Never lie when the truth is more profitable.
He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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