Funny quotes
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ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.

"ALF"

1

You can't keep changing men, so you settle for changing your lipstick.

Heather Locklear

1

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Kinky Friedman

1

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Joey Adams

1

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like 'What about lunch?'

A. A. Milne

1

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.

Don Marquis

1

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.

Winston Churchill

1

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