Funny quotes
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ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.
You can't keep changing men, so you settle for changing your lipstick.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words, like 'What about lunch?'
Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.
There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
