Funny quotes
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Did you say I should get hair in the peanut butter, or I shouldn't?
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
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