Funny quotes
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ALF: [about Lucky] Last time I saw him he was high-tailing it out the window.
Willie: And why was that?
ALF: Cause I was chasing him with a fork.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.
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