Funny quotes
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There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.
Eating words has never given me indigestion.
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
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