Funny quotes
(page 7)
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
Naaaaa, that's stupid... I'll do anyway.
Did you know that if you eat fast you can eat more?
Did you say I should get hair in the peanut butter, or I shouldn't?
I learned one thing about eating jigsaw puzzles... An hour later, you're hungry again.
Willie: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
ALF: You've been looking at my recipe book.
ALF: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it.
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