Jokes
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek'. His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met — from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings.
I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda.
I make jokes because humor is the greatest healing factor that there is.
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
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