Will Rogers

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

Will Rogers

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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Will Rogers

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

Will Rogers

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It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.

Will Rogers

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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

Will Rogers

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Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Will Rogers

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Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need.

Will Rogers

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A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

Will Rogers

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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Will Rogers

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Will Rogers

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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

Will Rogers

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Will Rogers — quotes and aphorisms

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Will Rogers

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Will Rogers

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It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Will Rogers

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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Will Rogers

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Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

Will Rogers

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Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Will Rogers

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Will Rogers

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