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Elayne Boosler

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Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.

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I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

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You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

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Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.

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When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.

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Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.

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The message of great art is to disturb.

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