"ALF"
(page 8)

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ALF: Putting humans in charge of the earth, is the cosmic equivalence of letting Eddie Murphy direct.

ALF: I wasn't known on Melmac as the whiz kid for my scholastic ability.

ALF: A minute and a half, Luckmiester, then I'll be down on you like a buzzard on a gut wagon.

ALF: On Melmac, we have 1st class, 2nd class and ham.

ALF: Willie. If a window was broken in the woods, but there was no-one there to hear it, would it really be broken?
Willie: If you were in the woods.

Willie: Stay away from the window, we've got a very nosy neighbor - Mrs. Ochmonek.
ALF: Ochmonek? Sounds like a typo.

Brian: ALF wouldn't eat Lucky, would he?
ALF: I'm not saying nothing until I speak to my attorney.

ALF: I know my rights, I watch People's Court.

ALF: [about Lucky] Last time I saw him he was high-tailing it out the window.
Willie: And why was that?
ALF: Cause I was chasing him with a fork.

"ALF"(page 8)