Johnny Carson

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Johnny Carson

3

I am one of the lucky people in the world: I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it.

Johnny Carson

1

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

Johnny Carson

1

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

Johnny Carson

2

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Johnny Carson

1
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