Steven Wright

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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

2

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday'.

2

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

2

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

1

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

1

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

1

What's another word for Thesaurus?

1

What a nice night for an evening.

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I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

1

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I’ve forgotten this before.

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