Steven Wright

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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I’ve forgotten this before.

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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

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I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

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What a nice night for an evening.

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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday'.

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What's another word for Thesaurus?

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If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

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Steven Wright – quotes and aphorisms

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

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A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

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