Andy Rooney

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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.