Mark Twain
(page 6)

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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

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An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

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Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's I mean.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

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Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

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Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

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I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

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It is easier to stay out than get out.

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Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

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The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.

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