Mark Twain
(page 5)

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.