Mark Twain
(page 5)

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

'Classic'. A book which people praise and don't read.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.