Mark Twain
(page 5)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

'Classic'. A book which people praise and don't read.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.