Mark Twain
(page 5)

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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

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In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.

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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

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The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.

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The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

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Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

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Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

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Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

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An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

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Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's I mean.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

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I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

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