Mark Twain
(page 5)

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.