Mark Twain
(page 3)

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.