Mark Twain
(page 3)

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.