Mark Twain
(page 3)

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.