Mark Twain
(page 3)

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.