Mark Twain
(page 3)

A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.

A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.