Mark Twain
(page 3)

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.

We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.

Of all the creatures that were made, man is the most detestable. Of the entire brood he is the only one - the solitary one - that possesses malice. That is the basest of all instincts, passions, vices - the most hateful. He is the only creature that has pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. Also - in all the list he is the only creature that has a nasty mind.

Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you: the one to slander you, and the other to get the news to you.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

We have not the reverent feeling for the rainbow that a savage has, because we know how it is made. We have lost as much as we gained by prying into that matter.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.