Mark Twain
(page 2)

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts.

Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else.

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.

The report of my death was an exaggeration.