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Steve Martin
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I've run into people in my life who were so dramatic; people who are so extreme and so frustrating to be around that you end up thinking about them and talking about them for literally years after your experience with them is over. I've had that happen to me, and I've seen it happen to other people. I find it fascinating.

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Nothing I do is done by popular demand.

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I was not naturally talented. I didn't sing, dance or act, though working around that minor detail made me inventive.

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Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

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Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

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What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

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You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies — all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

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When I was in college, I really liked poetry. I don't read much anymore.

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Bad psychoanalysis would say I enjoyed pleasing people, working really hard and pleasing people, which is probably related to my father in some way. But I really liked working hard. When I worked at Disneyland, I'd do 12 hours straight and go home thrilled.

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