Ogden Nash

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The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Ogden Nash

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Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Ogden Nash

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No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.

Ogden Nash

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Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Ogden Nash

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Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Ogden Nash

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Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Ogden Nash

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There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Ogden Nash

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I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Ogden Nash

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I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

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Ogden Nash — quotes and aphorisms

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Ogden Nash

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The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Ogden Nash

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If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Ogden Nash

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The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Ogden Nash

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Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Ogden Nash

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