Milton Berle

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

2

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

1

Laughter is an instant vacation.

1

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

1

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison — if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

1

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

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