Joey Adams

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The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late — and strike oil'.

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.