W. C. Fields
Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
More quotes and aphorisms
Don't judge each day by the harvest...It's not tyranny we desire...Before you open the lunch menu or order...You have to do your own growing no matter how tall...I don't have a type. But one thing I can say...In all life one should comfort the afflicted...