Myself
(page 2)
The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself.
My father left his piano at the house when he left, and I wasn't allowed to play it when he was there because I wasn't as good as him. So when he left, I was determined to get as good as him, and I taught myself how to play music, and I just stuck with it, and I did it all the time.
When I was 16, I filmed an episode of 'Full House' where my family goes to Disney World. I remember putting on baggy overalls just to hide my stomach. When I watched it, I was pretty disappointed and bummed out looking at myself... I didn't feel good about my own body.
Nobody challenges me. I challenge myself.
I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.
Sometimes, I pinch myself. Through everything, its about hard work... believing in yourself and in the American dream. Believe that you can make something out of yourself.
I'd sometimes go to Paris by myself — it was an easy two-hour train ride — to get a break from the everyday grind, to walk around a big city, ride a subway, feel the energy of a world capital.
When my wife died, I booked myself into the studio just to work, to occupy myself.
I don't compare myself to anyone else; I don't make comments about anyone else because they do what feels right for them, and that's okay by me.
I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.
I am not a conventionally religious man, but in the wilderness I have come closest to finding myself and knowing the universe and accepting God — by which I mean accepting all that I don't know.
I treat myself pretty good. I take lots of vacations, I eat well, I take supplements, I do mercury detox, I get plenty of sleep, I drink plenty of water and I stay away from drama and stress.
Myself when young did eagerly frequent doctor and saint, and heard great argument about it and about: but evermore came out by the same door as in I went.
I've heard all kinds of crazy rumors about myself. I've even heard that I'm pregnant! I've become real good about laughing things off — I figure I'd better get used to it.
Part of recovery is relapse. I dust myself off and move forward again.
December used to be very difficult for me. For many years, I fought the transition to the new year, was generally exhausted at the end of the year, and just wanted to hide. I described myself as a 'cranky Jewish kid who felt left out by Christmas'.
I have a family, loving aunts, and a good home. No, on the surface I seem to have everything except my one true friend. All I think about when I'm with friends is having a good time. I can't bring myself to talk about anything but ordinary everyday things. We don't seem to be able to get any closer, and that's the problem.
I used to keep injuries to myself. It would just make it worse and worse. Now I'm having none of that.
My advice to anybody, including myself, is if you're going through a bad period, and you just can't see the world's on your shoulders and no day is a good day, you're missing the whole point of the experience. And that's something dogs know from the moment they come bounding up to you as a puppy.
I never could have done what I have done without the habits of punctuality, order, and diligence, without the determination to concentrate myself on one subject at a time.
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