“ALF”
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
More quotes and aphorisms
If we weren't born with anti-social passions...To be happy, it first takes being comfortable being...Use those talents you have. You will make it...Voting is the only way to make change in a democracy...I was trying to be 27 at age 47...Where there is great love, there are always wishes...
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