“ALF”
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
More quotes and aphorisms
All men's miseries derive from not being able to sit...I want to be alone...Failure is a word unknown to me...Only the brave know how to forgive...I think the success of my work stems...Stay true to yourself, yet always be open to learn...
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