“ALF”
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
More quotes and aphorisms
The heart has its reasons of which reason...Indeed it is better to postpone, lest either we complete...Love is the best thing in the world...The way to build your savings is by spending less...Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision...Trust everybody, but cut the cards...
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