“ALF”
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
More quotes and aphorisms
I would maintain that thanks are the highest form...The middle of the road is where the white line is...Every time I do an album, I say, 'That's the last one'...Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast...If you have one true friend you have more...It is rewarding beyond words to rescue a dog...
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