“ALF”
ALF: [slowly enters kitchen] The Great Orange hunter stalks his prey.
[opens fridge]
ALF: Ah, he sees it. The illusive loin of Pork the most prized catch in the refridgidary jungle. What's this?
[picks a note off the food and reads it]
ALF: "ALF don't eat this" Why would I eat this?
[throws away the note]
ALF: Ever so deftly the great orange hunter maneuvers his weapon. He strikes.
[as he does this an earthquake starts]
ALF: Whoa. Has the hunter angered the gods? Okay, I won't eat pork.
More quotes and aphorisms
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be...Love is an ice cream sundae...But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray...A lovely nook of forest scenery, or a grand rock...Many people feel so pressured by the expectations...Indulge not thyself in the passion of anger...