Mitch Hedberg
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
More quotes and aphorisms
You must respect people and work hard to be in shape...We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is...Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid...Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate...We will make every effort with utmost sincerity...To me — old age is always ten years older than I am...
