Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep'.
More quotes and aphorisms
A great deal of intelligence can be invested...We are all born brave, trusting and greedy...The negative effects of combat were nightmares...Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil...Puberty for a girl is like floating down...Derivatives are financial weapons of mass destruction...
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