Joan Rivers
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep'.
More quotes and aphorisms
From its brilliancy everything is illuminated...Acting is not being emotional, but being able...What is great in man is that he is a bridge...On the face of it, China has won the Olympics...People don't understand that when I grew up, I was...Once a woman has forgiven her man...
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