W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
More quotes and aphorisms
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth...Now a soft kiss — Aye, by that kiss...A handful of gold...A little of what you call frippery is very necessary...Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry...The key is to keep company only with people...