W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
More quotes and aphorisms
Probably my mother's life was prolonged beyond...It does not require many words to speak the truth...Nature never deceives us; it is we who deceive...A ceremony doesn't have to be long...Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye...I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members...