W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
More quotes and aphorisms
There are teachers' unions around the country...It pays to know the enemy — not least because...Gender equality is not only an issue for women...I extend my deepest gratitude to our Armed Forces...Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch...Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate...