W. C. Fields
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
More quotes and aphorisms
I believe that all roads lead to the same place...Fortune always favors the brave, and never helps...Forever is composed of nows...And he that strives to touch the stars...Some people are just stuck in their ways...There are no new ideas. There are only new ways...
