Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
Art is born of the observation...The right time is any time that one is still so lucky...I just want people to know out there no matter...The memories we make with our family...It is my sincere hope that hospitals across Indiana...I've learned this, that haters wanna hate...