Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
In strictly medical terms, there's no difference...For every minute you remain angry...Instead of trying to make your life perfect...The only way to discover the limits of the possible...Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality...We should look to the mind, and not to the outward...
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