Demetri Martin — quotes and phrases
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
Another quotes and aphorisms
The future of any corporation is as good as the value...To succeed in life, you need three things...Let the states of equilibrium...If I had the use of my body, I would throw it...Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall...It is better for a woman to compete impersonally in society,...
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