Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
The nations of Africa, as is true of every continent...I have always wanted to learn the piano...Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery...Reinforced concrete buildings are by nature skeletal...Laziness is nothing more than the habit...God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say...
