Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
Ask yourself: was there anything I could have done...In my house, the Rose Parade and the Rose Bowl Game...Poets are the sense, philosophers the intelligence...I'm a big believer that your life is basically a sum...Life is given to us, we earn it by giving it...A state of society where men may not speak...
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