Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
How many deaf people do you know in real life?...I think 80 percent of the population are really great...Great companies in the way they work...What keeps you going isn't some fine destination...The world is full of CEOs that think...Malcolm X and Elijah Muhammad's message...
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