Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
He who keeps his cool best wins...The purpose of life...I think 'The Color Purple' is so bursting...I think it's nice to age gracefully. OK, you lose the youth...All real education is the architecture of the soul...Haiti's economy cannot be built...
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