Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves...That's a traditional Samoan dance. I was lucky...When ambition ends, happiness begins...I have come to believe over and over again...A desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately...The ego is not master in its own house...
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