Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets...Opportunities, like eggs...Let us not seek to bring religion to others...Gospel goes with me wherever I go...Sustainability can't be like some sort of a moral sacrifice...When I have bad days, I just eat lots of chocolate...
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