Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
I don't think anything is unrealistic...Argue for your limitations...If you were to ask me if I'd ever had the bad luck...Whenever, then, the usual and ordinary rate...Escapist literature gets a bad rap...Depression is the inability to construct a future...
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