Demetri Martin
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
More quotes and aphorisms
His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made...The man who invented the red carpet...We're not afraid of risking what was our success...Happiness lies in the joy of achievement...It is said that the way to prevent obesity...One isn't necessarily born with courage...
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