Mitch Hedberg
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
More quotes and aphorisms
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting...If you're going to die, then die...We don't stop playing because we grow old...The head never rules the heart...I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them...You cannot put the same shoe on every foot...
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