W. C. Fields
Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.
More quotes and aphorisms
Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity...By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail...Now don't say you can't swear off drinking...The tragedy of life and of the world is not that men...There are only two ways to live your life...There are two great days in a person's life...