Helen Rowland

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar — a practice which is still continued.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run — sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

You will never win if you never begin.