“ALF”
Willie: You can't vote, ALF , you're not a citizen.
ALF: I'll apply for a green card.
Willie: That's only if you want a job.
ALF: Pass.
[pause]
ALF: I know, I'll marry Lynn. Become a citizen, vote, then drop her of like a hot potato.
Willie: ALF...
ALF: Sure it will be hard on her first. She'll cry, drink a little too much. Join with a bongo player named Waquine.
Willie: ALF.
ALF: You'd like Waquine, he doesn't like beets.
Willie: Neither you or Waquine may marry my daughter and you may not vote.
ALF: Fine. I have not voice in government, Waquine will get deported, and they'll make him eat beets.
Willie: How many cups of coffee have you had?
ALF: Forty. Why?
More quotes and aphorisms
The wrongdoer is more unfortunate...To get a couple back together...Philosophy is written in this grand book...I thank you God for this most amazing day...We have seen the most difficult times...With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony...