“ALF”
Willie: Go back to the tent.
ALF: It's too dangerous out there. I had to kill a fifty-foot snake with my pocketknife.
Willie: There are no fifty-foot water snakes in the backyard.
ALF: I'm telling ya, it was bright green and it spit water. Ths Ths
[spitting water sound]
ALF: ...
Willie: That was my new garden hose.
ALF: Oh, no wonder it was sucking on the spigot.
More quotes and aphorisms
May God be with me! May Heaven bless this New Year...When a woman isn't beautiful...I always consider the settlement of America...Put your money...I have fought to protect those benefits...It is important for all of us to appreciate...