Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
More quotes and aphorisms
Once the realization is accepted...I think the success of my work stems...I will have nought to do with a man...Humor is mankind's greatest blessing...I'm really looking forward to it, if you can imagine...The usual complaint is, I have no other way...