Mark Twain

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Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled.

1

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

1

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

2

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

1

There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

3

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

3

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

2

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

2

'Classic'. A book which people praise and don't read.

2

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.

2

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.

4

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

3

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

2

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

2

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.

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