“ALF”
Kate: What are you doing?
ALF: [with a sunlamp in front of his head] Oh, soaking up rays, Babe. Your sunlamp's not working. I've been sitting here for five hours, Nada.
Kate: Five hours? ALF, you're lucky you didn't get a sunburn.
ALF: [Kate touches him] Aaah!
Kate: Sorry.
ALF: Aah, oh, it hurts, it hurts.
Kate: Well, would you like some cold cream?
ALF: Yeah, but just one scoop, I'm on a diet.
Kate: It's for your nose.
ALF: That's where I'm trying to lose the weight.
Kate: ALF, I'm talking about cold cream. Not ice cream. Cold cream. You understand?
ALF: You're talking like they're two different things.
Kate: They *are*! Haven't you been listening?
ALF: What is this, healing through hollering?
More quotes and aphorisms
I think; therefore I am...Poetry comes from the highest happiness...Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority...My heroes are those who risk their lives every day...I utter this word with deepest affection...It was pride that changed angels into devils...