“ALF”
[ALF is sitting on Willie's bed, and a burglar comes through the window]
ALF: [off-screen narrating] Then it happened. *He* came into my life. At first, I thought it was Santa Claus. Then it hit me, Santa probably wouldn't smell of cheap wine. Besides, he was beginning to fill his bag with things that didn't belong to him.
ALF: Can you take a little constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Burglar: [examines ALF] Must be one of those talking dolls.
ALF: Oh, yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
More quotes and aphorisms
The only good is knowledge...Great dreams of great dreamers...Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need...I never considered a difference of opinion in politics...Your sweetheart calls you by another's name...Listen with the intent to understand...
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