W. C. Fields
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
More quotes and aphorisms
I have been a depressed kid. I wanted to lead...The father is always a Republican toward his son...If fear is the great enemy of intimacy...Folks are like plants; we all lean toward the light...Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride...The Hebrews have done more to civilize men...