Mark Twain
(page 7)

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity - another man's I mean.

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.