Mark Twain
(page 6)

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.